New found dating pleasures, rants from 2007

I like to think of this blog as my secret diary. I don't think it gets read very often given how infrequently I post here. So it's kind of delicious and naughty to write of my adventures on a public blog which is still under wraps. It's sort of like kissing on an elevator. You never know when someone can walk in and catch you...and that's the deliciousness of it. I did kiss a lot in elevators when I was a teenager. Never had sex in an elevator considering most buildings in India are not more than 15-20 floors, too short a ride to have sex! And it was always the same person since I was with him for about 15 years before we broke up....so I have found out now that more than one can be fun...When I stepped into the dating world a couple of years ago, I thought about what turned me on in men...it's kind of strange when you have been with one person for some time you forget some of the basic things that turn you on as you adapt to the good and bad of your partner. And of course your sexual needs also evolve. Thinking about it I realized I was most comfortable with Indian men as I knew them more and could have more control. Speaking of control I realized I enjoy it...I'd always enjoyed having control...in the boardroom and in the bedroom. Strangely enough I wanted to be under but I wanted to be the one instructing my man to do exactly what I wanted. So in this beginning of another dating life I decided to get the kind of men I was looking for. Those who were more compliant to my wishes...would that lead to someone I love. Who knew...but one thing I did know. That I wanted someone who would be more docile so that I could be the commanding one in my relationship. In public, I would be the female batting her eyelashes at her man but secretly grabbing his ass. In private, I wanted to show my true color and have my man do mostly what I wanted. So I decided, that I would look for men who enjoyed being dominated. I found that such men were mostly younger...They are sweet, they get hard quick and can get hard more often and they like to be with older women such as me. There are some older men who are like that but the powerplay has to be switched a little, to give them the "man" status when they want it and make them happy so they are your willing slaves in bed. Younger men on the other hand are happy following your beck and call. For them it is an adventure with an older woman and they are oh so eager to please. So I have my dating segmentation now. When I want fun and games and a couple of good days I date a younger guy. I don't make it serious as it is never going to be. I choose carefully, guys who are aiming high in their career are the best usually. They are intelligent, motivated and fun to talk to. Their drive makes them want to excel at everything including the bedroom. And when we have our fun dates and a fun weekend together, it's best to move the relationship towards friendship. If someone sticks around and calls me again I turn into a mentor as they go on to their careers and their new love lives. That is a fulfilling relationship for me. After all, who doesn't like to plant seedlings and watch them grow? It's nice.But the con of this segment is that the guys I met have been relatively inexperienced. They don't really know how to please a woman and I teach them but it is tedious, and you don't get the fruits of the improvement. By then the relationship ends. So there is a need for the next segment. Older men. Older men are less adaptable to your wishes but some of them know what to do with a woman, not only in bed but also in public. You can feel deliciously sexy as they encircle you waist and caress you a bit in public. Younger men are often awkward and most of the times people look at you quizzically especially if you go to an "Indian" place where there are aunties and kids milling around. More about this older yet docile segment in the next post.


Indian men and the BJs

All men love a good BJ but Indian men speak of it in hushed reverent words. Mostly because many of them have just fantasized about it most of their lives. And that even includes now singles that were married before. I do not particularly fancy giving one - it's a 'job' after all - but the power is a turn on. It makes me wonder why the former wives and girl friends did not want to get this edge over their men.Since I was out in the dating world again I decided to hone my skills. After my last relationship which had ended after more than a decade I had taken a sex-sabbatical to nurse my broken heart. Which mean I had no sex for quite a few years. Now that I was dating again, I was feeling rusty and apprehensive about my power to please with my mouth. My first recruit to try my new found tactics after reading and practicing on inanimate objects was my big Tamilian. I had an array of ammo. There was the basket weave massager with warm oil. The hot and cold alternator using ice cubes. The double whip which explored the wild side. The worshipping look he gave me after was quite a thrill. Watch out Indian men, here I come armed with my new found knowledge. I will make you melt and kiss my feet! ;-)


The "biting" type of guy

Good kissers are a rare breed. My big Tamil guy I was dating certainly wasn't. It might have been lack of experience. He'd grown up in a small village near Madurai and then come to the USA. Went back to choose a "bride", got married in the month he was there and then promptly had a kid. Typical desi fashion. Now after a few years he was divorced...he said his wife cheated on him. I could not be sure if that was the real reason but he was divorced. Being a careful person I asked him to get his HIV and show me his ID so I could at least be sure he was who he said and that he did not have communicable diseases... What I did not expect was that such a mild mannered guy would be a biter...! The first time he kissed me he was gentle...did not drool too much, had nice firm lips. Drooling mouths or too soft lips always turned me off so I was glad. But just as I was getting comfortable -relaxing my lips under his and about to release my tongue from behind my teeth he sucked my lips in his mouth and bit down hard on them. Smarting with pain and anger I gave him a shove and told him to be careful. "Vary Sarry" he said and promptly did it again! I disengaged myself and told him it was time for a talk. I sat him down on the sofa and told him this was not OK and he admitted he got carried away and told me to slap his cheek if he bit me again. It was funny kissing him after that...every few minutes I would have to slap him on the cheek...he would draw back apologize and later do it again...and so it went on.... I figured the sex was OK and I was teaching him a thing or two about how to please me....so it would do for now..but Oh! for a good kisser!


The dating merry go round

So I have been on the dating merry go round for the last year ...which is one reason I never have the time to post. It's been interesting to say the least. And I am discovering that variety really is the spice of life. Having been in a long term relationship for more than a decade before I went to school it feels like a fresh breeze in my life. And along the way I have met many interesting people. So the guy I was trying to write about in the last post which I never ended..was one of the first people I met. Cute. Younger than me. And comfortable to be with. 3 dates later I'd had some good sex and was wondering if he at least approached being "the one". He claimed he had been "almost virgin" before me since he had ended his last relationship when his g.f. broke his heart long ago. Now he was 30, and looked up to me to give him a good time in bed. We did have a good time...and I was almost tempted to give him some serious thought but both of us knew we were headed in very different directions...it would have been impossible! And that's when I realized I could date people without having to pledge myself to them forever. After 3 dates we'd had fun but none of us wanted to get serious. Since this was new for me he suggested we don't call each other after the 3rd date. It felt weird to do this to someone I'd had good sex with and I did miss him but later I realized how sensible he'd been. After all what would we have talked about...we had almost nothing in common!So I went back to looking. The No.2 was nice. We met online, chatted for hours for a couple of months and then one day finally met. He drove 8 hours to see me...which was flattering. Flattering but stupid for a first date since he arrived at 1 AM and I felt almost obliged to offer him my couch...and we ended having sex almost immediately. I did break my first date rule but it did not feel strange. We had been talking for 4 hours every day for 2 months especially because I had a touring job where I was always stuck in hotels and airports and it was nice to have some to talk to while waiting for a flight or for sleep. And he always seemed to be handy. At this point there was nothing much talk about really...except try the thing we'd never even mentioned once in these hours of conversation.